staff at checkout: that’ll be $9.95
me: here’s $10.00
me: keep the change
There’s a book sitting in front of you.
In it contains all the bad things people have said about you behind your back, would you open it?
Hell fucking yeah
Read it so you can find out what people really have to say about you and how you can change your character to be a better person.
read it so you know what order to murder people in
two kinds of people
i need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash
i cant wait to get a boyfriend, im all prepared. i punched some holes in the lid of this jar and i put some grass and a twig in it